


Flirting 101

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bars and Pubs, Blanket Permission, Gen, Humor, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-18
Updated: 2010-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-11 08:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/476831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean teaches Cas to pick up chicks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Krystalicekitsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krystalicekitsu/gifts).



> Written for krystalicekitsu’s birthday. She asked for fic involving a bar, frou-frou girly drinks, sneaky!Cas and Dean teaching Cas innuendo. It…somehow turned out gen, I don’t even know how.

Dean had taken Cas out to a bar without Sam knowing about it, since he didn’t really want to hear “Honestly, Dean, he’s got enough issues without you corrupting him.”

Cas doesn’t look quite as terrified as he had when Dean took him to the brothel, but he doesn’t exactly look comfortable, either. And he sticks out like a sore thumb in those clothes. “Dude, relax!”

“I am relaxed.”

Dean snorts at that, but he supposes Cas is relaxed, at least in relative terms. He’s not sitting poker-straight, anyway. They’d managed to get seats at the bar, since it’s still early and not too crowded yet. Waitresses in short skirts walk around bringing people their drinks, while music with a throbbing beat plays in the background.

“What’ll you have?” the bartender asks.

“Two Rolling Rocks,” Dean tells him and he goes to make the drinks.

“I don’t want–” Cas begins

“Why not?” Dean demands. “’S’not like it’ll affect you anyway.”

Cas sighs, but doesn’t argue.

Their drinks come, and Dean sips at his beer for awhile, looking at the waitresses and wondering what his chances are. He hasn’t really had time for sex since the Apocalypse started, but he likes to keep his hand in.

The bar is getting crowded, so Dean flags down a waitress and flashes his winningest smile. “Hey. Could you get us another couple Rolling Rocks?”

She nods at him, distracted. “Sure.”

“Thanks. Is it always this crazy around here?”

She glances around the bar and nods again, pushing her bangs out of her eyes. “Pretty much.”

“Man, I don’t envy you. I wouldn’t work in a bar to save my life.”

She shrugs. “It pays the bills.”

“Hey, is that top felt?” Dean asks, ignoring Cas next to him.

She glances down at her T-shirt. “No.”

Dean leers at her. “Would you like it to be?”

She stares at him for a second, then gives an incredulous laugh and walks off. _Ah well, can’t win ‘em all._

But she’s back with their drinks in a few minutes, and there’s a piece of paper with a name and a phone number under Dean’s glass. He grins. _Still got it._

Cas is looking from the paper, to the waitress, to Dean. “What is the significance of that?”

Dean grins again. “It’s her phone number.” When Cas looks blank, he continues, “She wants me to call her.”

“Why?”

Dean rolls his eyes at the ceiling. “It’s flirting, Cas. You know, picking up chicks?”

“This is part of human courtship?”

Dean chokes on his beer. “Yeah,” he coughs, wiping his face on his sleeve. “Something like that.”

Dean has an idea. It’s either brilliant or the worst one he’s ever had, which, considering some of his ideas, is saying something. “You wanna try?”

Cas cocks his head at him. “Try what?”

“Flirting.”

Cas doesn’t answer.

“Oh, come on. You’re not a bad looking guy. Might even finally get some.” Not likely, though.

“Some what?”

Dean rolls his eyes again. He doesn’t want Cas holding orgies or anything, but the guy needs to loosen up. He looks over the room, trying to find the type of girl who’d find Cas’ awkwardness cute. He doesn’t want to set him up to get shot down after all. Well, not really.

There’s a girl in the corner wearing clothes entirely too proper for a place like this. “That girl, over there.”

Cas looks where he’s pointing. “What about her?”

***

Dean sips his beer, watching Cas walk over to the girl in the corner with the feeling that he’s watching a car accident about to happen.

Cas taps her on the shoulder, she looks up at him, he says something, she gives him an incredulous look, then slaps him across the face.

Dean winces, although whether for Cas or the girl he’s not sure.

Cas comes back over, looking puzzled. “I don’t understand. I did just as you said. Why did it not work?”

Dean swallows his laughter with difficulty. “Maybe you just need more practice.”

Cas looks at him suspiciously, but nods.

Dean orders another round of drinks to cheer Cas up. When he takes a drink of his beer, though, he almost spits it out. “What the _fuck?_ ”

“What’s wrong?”

Dean ignores Cas, examining his drink. It looks like beer. Smells like beer. But it tastes like one of those frou-frou girly drinks. He takes another sip to make sure. Yeah. “What the hell?”

“Don’t you like your drink?” Cas asks innocently.

Dean stares at him, because even Cas isn't that innocent. “You bastard! You mojo’d my drink!”

“And you knew what the result would be if I attempted to speak to that girl. I would say we’re even,” Cas replies.

Alright, fine, if he wants to get technical about it.

Dean still steals Cas’ drink.


End file.
